Girl, I’ve been where you are.
For the most part, life is good. You love your after-work happy hours and weekend yoga classes. You’ve got fulfilling work and a great crew of girlfriends. But the sense that something’s missing gets more profound with each candle on your birthday cake. You know you’d rather be single than settle, but you keep obsessively swiping right (and, let’s be honest - mostly left) in hopes of finding “the one”.
It’s not that you’re dying for a different life...it’s just that you always assumed you’d have certain boxes checked by this age, and you can’t help but feel like you’re falling behind. At best, you’re feeling a little antsy about where you think you “should” be by now. But after another Friday night of Netflix and chill(ing alone on your couch with your dog)? It’s all feeling just a little bit too Bridget Jones-y. You wonder what the hell is so wrong with you. Why can’t you just find your person and get on with it, already? Are you doomed to be alone forever?
To make matters worse, the ticking of the biological clock gets louder every damn day.
You aren’t necessarily dying to get knocked up right this second, but you also can’t imagine a life without kids. And just like Shakira’s hips, the clock don’t lie... you’ve heard over and over that fertility drops off some mythical cliff at the age of 35. But you also remember that gossip rag that said Halle Berry had a baby at 47...so which is it? You tried to hint to your doctor that you’re worried about all this at your last check-up, but he just told you “you’re young and pretty, I’m sure you’ll meet someone”, then prescribed you the pill and sent you on your way.
Sound familiar? I totally understand!
A few years ago, I vowed to go on as many first dates as it took to find “the one”. I worked those dating apps like a part time job. Yes, I wanted to find a partner - but mostly, I just wanted to stop worrying that I was falling behind. The items on life’s checklist seemed to be love, marriage, baby carriage - in that order… so dating was the most obvious solution to the problem of the ticking clock.
And guess what? I did meet an awesome guy, and the relationship got off to a great start. I thought I’d finally found it. I decided to freeze my eggs to buy us more time, not realizing how little I understood about fertility in general and my own body in particular. That experience started me down a long, hard road - and now I’m here for you, so you don’t have to experience the same.
I’m Katie, and I help single women like you to gain clarity on what matters most to you, so that you can finally stop obsessing about missing the boat and take that next step, whatever it may be.
My plan was to freeze my eggs and go back to business as usual. But when the outcome was less than desirable, I panicked. My relationship ended, and fear and lack of clarity led me to begin trying to conceive on my own with donor sperm.
Was I ready to be a mom? No. But my fear of missing out on motherhood overrode everything else in that moment.
Thankfully, none of my early attempts at conception panned out. I changed doctors and changed plans, and in doing so, I learned that there were ways to create security and options for myself WITHOUT sacrificing the life that I’d imagined for myself.
Over the course of a year and a half, I taught myself a ton about fertility. I froze more eggs and created embryos, but most importantly - I got really, really clear on what I want in life. I found tools that helped me separate fear from desire. I realized I didn’t HAVE to become a single mom out of desperation, but I could EMBRACE that path from a place of acceptance if and when I decide it’s the right choice for me. I hit snooze on the clock and created room to breathe. And then I lived in that blissful, less anxious place for 6 whole months.
So what’s my happy ending?
Once I hit snooze on my own biological clock, I was all set to hit the dating scene again, feeling refreshed and up for whatever the universe sent my way. And guess what? It wasn’t someone tall, dark and handsome… it was a global pandemic! Needless to say, COVID-19 changed the dating scene a bit. I still managed a few online dates and socially distanced outdoor get togethers. In my newfound freedom, I discovered two things. Number one, I was attracting much higher caliber men than I had in a long time, and number two, I was far less interested in rushing into a relationship now that I had a “backup plan.” As the months of isolation wore on through the spring and into summer 2020, I realized I was thinking much more about my frozen embryos than my dating prospects. By July 2020, having a baby on my own started to feel like a solid Plan A. I decided I was ready to take the plunge and I scheduled an embryo transfer. I was lucky enough to have success on the first try, and I finally met the love of my life, my baby boy, in April 2021!
I’m still single, still hopeful for the full happily-ever-after package someday, and 100% certain that I made the right choice for me in not continuing to wait to start my family. I do believe I will meet “my person” someday, but the beautiful thing is that I AM NOT STRESSED OUT ABOUT IT. I know, right?! So I found my happily ever after, after all! Because no matter what happens next, I’ve got the tools and information I need to create a life I love. I feel free to follow my heart without worrying what anyone else thinks about my decision. And let me tell you, that feels AMAZING!
Wondering what I’m up to these days, now that I’m not freaking out about my future?
Obviously my #1 priority these days is hanging with my bestie, my son Miles. I cannot believe how quickly the first two years with him have flown by. He’s now a toddler and into EVERYTHING. We love playing with our dog Oliver, going to parks, and riding on his tricycle.
In my alter-ego/day job, I am the instructional lead for the dyslexia department in a large public school district. I love coaching teachers and making an impact for students!
Yoga is my happy place! I’m a certified yoga teacher, but I’d much rather take a class than teach one. It’s been tough to get to classes since my son was born, but as I’m getting into the groove with motherhood, it’s something I hope to prioritize more.
I’m a huge podcast junkie. I listen to dozens of them and sometimes forget the hosts are not my friends in real life. I love audiobooks too, and have started listening at 1.5x speed since my son was born. Fitting more into less time is an important solo mother strategy!
After renovating my little home TWICE in the last 6 years, I am now on the hunt for a new home that is better suited to a growing family. I will take my time finding our next home, but I do spend a lot of time perusing listings!
I never meant to start coaching. The Single Greatest Choice began as a podcast/passion project, but as soon as I started connecting with badass ladies like you in comments and DMs...I just knew there was more I could do to help. This is all for you!